It's not you, it's me!

12:00:00 PM

It wasn't until after the breakup that I realized the issue wasn't him, it was me. It still baffles me that I didn't receive this clarity until it was too late. I guess I was able to see more clearly once outside of the relationship.

So here's how I figured out that I was the problem. After the split, I recounted some of the arguments we had and from that I learned that they really did stem from a place of insecurity on my part (I was in denial at first, smh). My behavior totally mirrored that of someone who was full of doubt and lacked confidence. Unfortunately, this really had an impact.

The following 3 signs helped me to accept that I indeed was the issue and not him. If these things sound too familiar to you, now is the time to take action, it could help save your relationship.

  • You're the one whom always has a problem. 
    • If you have something to say about EVERYTHING and you harbor on the petty little things, then it's probably you. Take a step back and notice that your partner rarely ever complains and doesn't sweat the small stuff. Learn to think before you speak. If something is bothering you, sleep on it and if it's still a big deal then address it. 
  • It's never your fault.
    • If you find yourself constantly blaming your partner and can't seem to recognize where you went wrong, then again it's most likely you. I suggest evaluating the situation and trying to find your responsibility in it. Figure out the part you play and change what you can.
  • Everything is always about YOU.

    • If you're always talking about how you feel and most things revolve around you, then I'm pretty sure it's you. I believe that there is a such thing as being unintentionally selfish. I completely understand wanting to protect your heart but at the same time you don't want to neglect your partners feelings. Straightforward communication can put you both on the same page and eliminate some of that "me" talk. 
*Look within yourself for the changes that you seek from others. You just may find the answers that you've been searching for. 

Love Ty

You Might Also Like


  1. Love the article. I admire your courage Ty, not everyone can admit or say when they were wrong. It is looked at as a weakness, when it is actually a strength. This is what we all need. Looking in the mirror at ourselves is a great thanks for the knowledge. Much love. -Zell


I want to know what you think.